2568
by J-demon321
Summary: If your boyfriend cheated on you cause you weren't 'feminine' enough, what would you do?Plan out a revenge of course! Even if this is going to cost you 2568 dollars and your sanity to a white eyed someone...Neji/Ten
1. Chapter 1

_**After much consideration, I decided to just continue this story. (The other story 'Loving the Fake You' was deleted) I ran out of inspiration for this story but thanks to few reviewers, I got my motivation back! Thank those so much for liking this story so much! (*Gives big hug*) **_

_**This is a revised version. I'm uploading ch 1~4. Ch.5 is currently being written. It should be published sometime this month. **_

_**As you all know, I'm a really REALLY slow updater. I'm sorry but this year is going to be even harder cause its my final year of high school...yea....**_

_**So anyways, before going on to the story, I just want to especailly thank missy4eva, Blood-Gaara-Blood and Dreaming101(thank you for reviewing every chapter!!XD) **_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto_**

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CHAPTER1:

I have always thought of soap operas as 'ridiculous'. It never made any sense to me why people even bothered to view it.

I once saw one when I came over to Ino's place for a sleep over. Both she and Sakura were already there, intently watching something on TV. I had a feeling they weren't going to turn it off any time soon. So, I watched with them.

I almost gagged.

The plot went something like this: the main character was a parentless poor female that had to work in various part-time jobs just to get by. However, luck was on her side (like every character) and she finally managed to get a job at a major company. (Never seen that one coming!--)

But, on her first day she accidentally slept in, like an idiot, and was naturally in a hurry. While running at full speed, she bumped into someone, spilling her morning coffee all over his expensive looking suit. Turns out he's her new boss. (Surprise surprise…)

This and this happened and that and that happened and soon we find them falling in love with each other, but of course, it's never easy. The (main) guy is the company's next heir so the parents don't approve, he already has a fiancé, which is, by the way a total bitch, and to top it off; the guy's brother falls in love with the main character making this a foursome. Give me a break...

It was frustrating to see these idiotic characters play out an even more idiotic relationship. What kind of sane person would want to watch something so complicated for relaxation?!?

But most importantly, I hated the main female character with my guts. I just loathed their way of approach and how they do things in the shows. I mean come on; doesn't she have any pride as an individual woman? Just give up on the man and find a new partner!!

Course, not everyone agreed with me. (Ino and Sakura kicked me out of the house when I snorted for the 20th time in the first hour.)

To make a long story short, I hate soaps with a passion......which is why I'm still baffled as to why I'm standing here acting exactly like the main female character would.

This was entirely the dog boy's fault. Damn him to hell! How dare he cheat on me! Just thinking about that night makes me want to kill something, again… Let's go and walk down memory lane, shall we?

Kiba and I started going out at the beginning of the school year. We were both in the track team so we had plenty of time to interact and be with each other. In fact, due to training, competitions and almost being in the same class, I spent more time with him than with my parents.

At first, I thought that was a good thing, but I was soon proved wrong when…that bastard cheated on me! He was with Hinata, Hinata for crying out loud! I might've felt a teeny weenie bit better if he got a voluminous older woman and _**not**_ a timid, short, younger girl!

This was a big blow to my womanly pride. So, I confronted him yesterday, after kidnapping him right when classes were over.

"Why cheat?" I yelled.

His answer?

"You're too manly Tenten. Sure, you were cute at first…but then it got real old. Sorry, but I want a girlfriend who actually acts like a girl. Come back when you're more feminine." That little shit…… Come back my ass!

I didn't know if I was angry or sad, I think I was both (how that can happen, don't ask. If your boyfriend cheats on you then you will know.) I don't even remember how I went back home but apparently I did…until I bumped into a pole.

Still very numb with shock and humiliation, I didn't curse, kick the pole and run away like I'd usually do. I actually looked at the thing, without damaging or cursing at it. It was there that I found my hope; a white advertisement poster which read:

_Do you have any problems? Do you have any worries? If yes, come to us! We will deal with anything and everything!_

_**The Byakugan**_

At that moment, I was not standing outside my neighborhood, I was in heaven with angels singing halleluiah in the background.

I checked to see if there was anyone else around me. Seeing there was none, I ripped the poster from the pole and ran, fast. I wasn't in the track team for nothing you know.

So here I am, standing outside a white painted door that held up a sign reading:

_The Byakugan_

I was obviously at the right place.

I was so excited yesterday, totally confident that my revenge plan was going to work but, I couldn't help feel like those detestable female characters in soap operas.

Can I really do this? Can I really throw away my pride for something so trivial and act like a jealous-girlfriend-ready-to-murder-the-said-boyfriend? Are you really? My answer:

_**Hell**_yes.

With a smile, I confidently opened the door to find four tall, muscular, gorgeous guys playing………makeup. If a passerby just happened to pass by right at this moment, he or she would either faint from laughter or faint from trauma. It was that funny.

For our readers, I'll try to summarize this awkward situation to the best of my abilities. (I was turned to stone half the time so it's kind of hard…)

First of all, let's describe how I looked. Half of my body was in the room; my right hand upon the doorknob and my right leg inside the room, totally normal. My face was a different matter; eyes wide and popping, mouth agape in a comical fashion and a paling face. Oh, and the fact that I was frozen from shock! Not one of my prettiest moments, that's for sure.

Next, it's the men's turn. For convenience sakes, I am going to dub them Boy1, 2, 3 and 4(starting from the left).

Out of all the occupants in the room, Boy1 was the most normal. In fact, he really was normal, minus the pineapple hair do' on top of his head. By the look of things, he was reading the newspaper, on the couch, but with such a bored expression, I had the (scary) feeling this was an ordinary thing for them........yes, carrying on.

Now you must understand; this is the part which is the cause of chaos and mind-numbing shock.

Boy2 was on the floor putting the makeup on. He had the brightest locks of golden hair I have ever seen and even brighter blue eyes. His body was also good; perfectly tanned skin and with the exact amount of muscles. I would have drooled if not for the situation. Sitting in Indian style, he sat, shocked, while holding red, _**glittering**_ lip gloss.

Boy3 was the complete opposite of Boy2; a pale complexion that contrasted greatly with his black hair and eyes. This guy was the one being pampered. He was a natural beauty, a dangerous beauty that lures you in every time you stare at his obsidian eyes. The makeup wasn't helping to lessen his beauty. Black eye liner made his eyes pop and the red blush did wonders to his face. A work of art, if he didn't freeze with his lips puckered out like a fish….

Finally, Boy number 4.

_**Elegant. **_That's the only word I have in my limited vocabulary to describe him. Elegant, it was as if the word was made just for him. Sitting behind the desk located at the back of the room, he had long brown hair, pale (but, not as pale as Boy3) skin, a lean body and breathtakingly stunning white eyes. Can people even have white eyes? I really didn't care, it fit him perfectly. The only problem was his (quite disturbing) facial expression. He was looking at Boy2 and Boy3 like a father would look at his son when he caught the biggest trout in their neighborhood. Yes, very disturbing.

The five of us must have stayed frozen like that for at least five minutes. The first one to break this silence was (surprisingly) Boy2.

"…Are you…perhaps…a……cus..to…mer…?"

It happened so fast that my slow brain couldn't keep up with my eyes. It was like some magical switch was switched on cause as soon as the word 'customer' left Boy2's lips, all of the other occupants in the room suddenly had a hungry look in their eyes. They were the predators and I was obviously the meat.

With their eyes, they were giving me a silent message that read: "Say yes! Say yes! Say yes!...or else…" What would you have done?

"Um….yes?"

"…With money?"

"…Of course?..."

And that's when all chaos broke loose.

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Well...as you can see there aren't a LOT of changes, just some grammatical and a bit of input here and there. Still..plz review!!!! It'll motivate me further to get the fifth chappy done faster~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: No own Naruto

* * *

**_

CHAPTER2:

Somewhere in our lives, we are bound to come across a time when we seriously regret our previous decisions. For example, like now. The only thing stopping me from kicking my self into oblivion is because I know I'll look like some crazy nut who escaped from the mental hospital.

My plan was very simple: I go into the store, persuade the people there to help me and voila, I have my revenge. It had no flaws or mistakes, a perfect plan. The only hard part was the acting. How else am I supposed to persuade others without the 'damsel in distress' act? I'm 17years old, it's not like I can just pluck out a check from my pocket or anything.

Obviously, my plan was foolproof…when handling _**normal**_people. If I had known that the people working at _The Byakugan_ were totally off their rockers, I would've made a plan B.

But alas, I didn't, which is why I'm sitting on a leather couch, sipping a cup of mint tea, staring at the 4 faces of grinning idiots. God have mercy….

"So…Tenten was it?"

I just nod my head, not even bothering to answer. Hey, the tea was surprisingly good. Besides, I read somewhere that mint teas was supposed to help prevent colds. Better drink as much as I can, right?

"I don't think we introduced ourselves fully yet-"

Well no shit. The way you guys were running around, getting dressed and erasing the makeup all at the same time, it doesn't take a genius to know _**why.**_

"-The person over there sitting next to the computer (He's Boy1) is Shikamaru, the guy you saw…with the makeup on is Sasuke, next to him (Boy2) is Naruto and my name is Neji (The hotty with white eyes). A pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

"The…pleasure is all mine."

Mommy, please forgive your daughter for she has told a lie. Boo-hoo-hoo.

"Well then, shall we get to the point? How long are you planning to torture your ex-boyfriend for cheating on you?"

"Hmmm…I don't know mayb………wait, how did you know I was dumped? How did you know I was cheated on?!? I don't remember telling you anything!"

WTF?!? How'd he know that? Is he a physic or something? Maybe there _is_ something more to those white eyes of his! Or worse, maybe as a person I just scream 'got cheated on'! Is that why the people were staring at me when I was walking down the street? I knew that kid dropped his ice cream cone cause of me! Maybe it's my scent? Do I _smell_ like I've been du.......

"…Please calm down, it was only a prediction. Most women come to us to get revenge on their boyfriends all the time so I only assumed you were one of them."

"Oh…are you sure you're not a phy…"

"No, I'm not a physic and no, you don't have a 'got cheated on' aura so I suggest you to stop fretting. You're scaring poor Naruto with your expressions. For the past minute, your expression has changed approximately 12 times."

Now that he mentions it, 'Naruto', as he dubbed Boy2, seems to be scooting farther away from me and clinging to 'Sasuke' like he's his life line. I know my expressions change every five seconds but does he have to make it so obvious? I mean, that's so rude. I saw him putting makeup on another boy just a few minutes ago but do I shout it out loud? No~!

"(*Ahem*) Right, backing back to the subject, I'm planning it to be about three days long."

"Only three days? The guy gets another girl behind your back and you're only planning to get revenge for three days? You are either naïve or stupid and I personally vote for the latter."

Well screw you ya prick. Why do you think I chose three days? Originally, I planned to torture that bastard Kiba for a whole week, but seeing what kind of people you guys are, I had to make a quick change. Ever think about that Sasuke?

"……………"

"Now now Sasuke, that was very impolite on your part. You _**will**_ apologize, right?"

"Hn, whatever Neji."

"Actually, three days is more than enough to get revenge. Besides, I don't have any intention of working for a whole week. If you are, then just count me out."

"Shikamaru you lazy ass, I don't get how someone like you can have an IQ of a genius. It should be one of the Seven Wonders of the World or something!"

"Will the three of you please close your mouths? Don't you see you're disturbing our precious guest? Really, haven't I taught you enough? What did I tell you about opening your mouth Naruto?"

"To shut it."

Well, _now_ I'm impressed. He actually said that with a serious face.

"Glad you remembered it; now please _**do**_ what you've learned. It would be greatly appreciated. That goes for you also Sasuke, remember what I told you?"

"Be the silence, be the glare."

Be the what?

"Yes, please be. Shikamaru?"

"(*sigh*) Just keep on typing."

"Thank you."

Oh my lord, is this even considered a conversation? Are you trying to teach me what the crazies talk about when they meet? Well if that was your intention, I've learned my lesson well.

The tea has gone cold a long time ago already and I'm starting to get antsy. If no one noticed, I'm not the quiet, keep-it-to-herself kind of gal. This 'meeting' is getting sidetracked way too frequently. If they're not going to steer this conversation back to the right path then I'll just have to do it myself.

Joy.

"You know…I'm really sorry to butt into your…interesting conversation, but I'm on a tight schedule. I didn't actually let my parents know I'm here."

"Right, like you were saying, three days. Well then, how can we be of service to you?"

I'm getting this feeling that Neji is someone not to be messed with. I mean the way he holds a conversation or have those three wrapped around his finger. I don't know, how I should say this…it's…cool, I guess…

Maybe Ino's right. Maybe I AM a weirdo myself…course I pale in comparison to those four.

"Hello? Tenten? Earth to Tenten?"

"Wha- Oh! Sorry, what'd you say Naruto?"

"Neji asked you a question. Jesus, go learn some manners Tenten! Didn't you learn this in Kindergarten? When someone asks you a question, you should lis…"

"Naruto…"

"Right, I'm shutting up! I'm shutting up!"

"Anyways, your request Ms. Tenten?"

I'm going to _**so**_ regret this someday, I just know it.

"My request is this. I need someone to act as my boyfriend. I want…no, _need _to show my ex I'm doing just fine without him and in fact is doing much better."

"Hmmm…interesting, but brilliant as well. Have you picked out the 'boyfriend'?"

"Yes, actually, I did."

Well to be perfectly honest I didn't but come on! This is like a golden opportunity! Who am I to pass out on God's given chance?

"Neji, will you be my 'boyfriend' for the next three days?"

Chuckling, he stood from his seat on the sofa across from me and…kneeled down in front of me.

"Ms. Tenten, I would be honored to take the role of your 'boyfriend'."

Wow, he's a charmer. I can just imagine how many hearts he's broken. Hmmm…I don't think I've ever looked at Neji this close before. Like I said earlier, he's really good looking.

I mean his skin is so perfect, flawless really. His hair looks so soft too…

And his eyes, it's really pretty and the way it stares at you…ah…

Oh and did you see his fingers? Those were made for seduction…..

"Are you alright Ms. Tenten? You're very red in the face, perhaps you are sick?"

"What? Oh, no! No! No! No! No! I'm…I'm perfectly fine. Just hot, I'm just hot. Ha..ha..hahahahaha…"

Shit! Shit! SHIT~!

"Shall we open the windows?"

"No, no. I'm fine…….so how much does this cost me?"

Hey now, no need to fret. I mean in all 16 years of my sucky life, have I ever met such gorgeous features? Nope, at least in my opinion.(I can never understand why Ino and Sakura follows that Deidara guy around…at least I think he's a guy…) But look at today, although they aren't normal, I suddenly meet 4 very good-for-the-eyes people! In fact, it should be considered abnormal NOT to think about how pretty they are and how good they smell and….Anyways, the point is, I should change the subject now.

"Of course. The fee, a very very _**very**_ important subject. (*chuckles*) I'm very glad you mentioned it. Sasuke, 'the book' please!"

I tried changing the subject to get the subject off of me and I'm glad it's worked, but it's working way too well. The bad feeling is here again. I don't like the sound of 'the book'.

Nope, not liking it at all.

"Here."

"Now, shall we discuss the payment?"

Yes, I really don't like that 'book'. It's emitting a black aura, I can see it. No! Don't open it, don't open the cover…!

"Usually, we have only gotten jobs that didn't cause us much effort. However, your case is different. Not only is it very troublesome but, you chose me to do it, the president of this shop. So…according to the book, a day's worth would be……$550."

"WHAT?!? $550?!? THAT'S WAY TOO EXPENSIVE!"

"Actually, it's not. Not only does this job take effort and everyone's labor, it takes away too much of my time that I won't be able to take in any other requests as well as managing the shop. I think $550 is a very reasonable price. Don't you?"

What do you mean reasonable? It is so _**not**_ reasonable! But how can I oppose? The look in his eye is _very _dangerous right now. I knew I was going to regret this decision later on. I just didn't know it would be this soon. Still…a girl has to try right? RIGHT???

"Can't you uh… cut down the price just a _little_ bit. Please? I mean $550, wow, so reasonable! But wouldn't it be **AWSOME** if we were to make it just a bit **MORE** reasonable…..ha…ha…ha…?

(*gulp*) OK so maybe trying wasn't a good idea…

"Hmmmm…fine. Since you're a student I suppose I can….lower… the price."

He started to furiously scribble something on 'the book'. I dare not disturb him.

"Very well. Due to unfortunate circumstances, the price will be….I…I….can't do it. Sasuke, you read it. I can't bear to read such a reduction!"

--

"Hang in there Neji, it's ok! You're doing this for a good cause. I'm proud to have such a warm hearted boss!"

--;;

"It's $500. Wow. He actually cut off $50. Next thing you know, Shikamaru's going to sing the Sailor Moon theme song and I'm going to dance to it. Not."

"Yes…anyways, since this is only a day's worth, the total would be…$1500. $150 less than the original….."

I'm pretty sure this is a funny situation but believe it or not, Neji REALLY looks like he's going to faint. OMG, he's shaking and is that cold sweat on his forehead? **IS HE GOING INTO SHOCK?!?**

"But Neji! But Neji! Everything is going to be fine! We can just charge her higher additional fees than originally planned to make up for the lost $150!"

White meets blue.

"Naruto…I…I…I don't know what to say…"

"Neji…'

Grasping each other's hands, they looked deeply into each other's eyes…

This is ridicu-wait additional fees?

"Did you say additional fees? What additional fees?"

Suddenly looking flawless again, his pretty little mouth opened to spit out viscous and vile words.

"Well, yes. $1500 isn't all of the payment."

What?

"What?"

"I said it isn't the entire fee. You didn't really think this was it did you? Taking you on dates, giving you a makeover, etc- these are all additional fees. I will add up those prices at the end of our three days. Isn't this great Ms. Tenten? Thanks to the additional fees we both get to be winners; you get your reduction for the daily fees and I get to charge you how much I want for the other things."

Oh god, I think I'm really going to faint now.

"Well, since we're all finished with the necessity, shall we shake on it?"

Like I keep saying, what could I do? The guy is dangerous; of course I can't go against anything he says.

I shook his hand.

"Oh, and by the way…Welcome to _The Byakugan _Ms. Tenten."


	3. Chapter 3

_****__**Disclaimer: No own Naruto, single ladies (put a ring on it) by beyonce**_

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CHAPTER3

Neji is an Alicanto.

_Alicanto: a mythological bird of the desert Atacama. A being from Chilean Mythology, they are mythical birds that eat gold and silver. Their wings shine a beautiful metallic color at night and their eyes emit strange lights. _

...is the definition I found on Wikipedia which only further proves my first statement. The guy's a demon, a gold-eating-shiny-winged-with-freaky-lights-coming-out-from-his-eyes bird demon to be precise.

Perhaps in other's eyes I might seem paranoid. If you are one of those people I just want to say: F*CK YOU. I'd like to see you say the same thing after you've actually met with 'them'. Let's see if you won't sit down in front of the computer as soon as you come home from their evil lair and search like mad all night, trying to figure out which life form they belong too.

Ok, so maybe I **AM** a bit paranoid.

Still! They couldn't have been human though! I swear on my dead puppy's name, I felt the air shift around me as soon as I stepped through the door of 'The Byakugan', dragging me through a portal to the demon world.

Neji is the demon king and the rest are his evil demon henchmen who like to play makeup.

Now that I know what they are, I just have to find out how to nullify the contract between me and the demon. Apparently, the only way to do that is to exorcise the demon himself.

Joy.

I'll just write that down on my 'Before I die' to-do list. I'll get to it…eventually.

Now that my curiosity has been satisfied, the only thing left for me to do is enjoy the rest of my Saturday. There's nothing like sitting on your comfy bed with a cup of hot chocolate in your right hand and a PSP on your left to relax. Yup, punching the day lights out of Christina in Tekken 4 does wonders to my stress level.

Ah…………………

'_All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~'_

I glared at my phone.

'_All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~'_

To pick it up or not to pick it up, that is the question. Hmmm...who could it be? Sakura and Ino told me they were going on one of their 'hunts' for cute men so they can't be the ones. Mom? Nah-she's too busy playing poker with her friends and dad? Where is he anyway?

Hmmm...something tells me not to pick up that phone.

'_Now you put your hands up, Up in the club, just broke up, I'm doing my own little thing~'_

Yes, something is definitely telling me to not pick up the phone. Maybe if I ignore it, it'll hang up on it's own.

'_Decided to dip but now you wanna trip, cuz another brother noticed me~'_

Hmmm, she or he can't keep this going on forever…

'_I'm up on him, he up on me, Don't pay him any attention, Cried my tears, three good years, Ya can't be ma-'_

See-I knew he…or she was going to give up sooner or lat....

'_All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~'_

……………………………

'_All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~'_

……………………………

'_Now you put your hands up, Up in the club, just broke up, I'm doing my own little t-'_

Ah ha! See, like I said, I knew.....

'_All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~'_

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S GOOD AND HOLY! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!?"

"_Ah- Ms. Tenten, so you do answer the phone. I'm glad to hear you're alive…Although if I may; I recommend you re-learn answering-the-phone etiquettes."_

"A...ALICANTO?!?"

"_Ali what?"_

"What? Oh! Nothing, nothing at all, hahahahaha!"

**SHIIIIIIIT!!!!!** This is why I didn't want to pick up the phone.

"Wait, how'd you get my number? I don't remember giving it."

"_Yes you did. Remember, you gave it to me on your way out."_

"No I didn't. Why would I give five psyc...I mean, five strangers my number?"

"_Well, you did."_

"No I didn-"

"_YES, YOU DID."_

".........Right, on my way out, I gave you my number."

"_Glad you remembered. Anyways, are you busy now?"_

"Ummm...no..."

"_Great! I'll meet you here at the office in half an hour. Good bye."_

"What?!? Neji? Hello?"

'……………………'

The nerve of him! Just because he has a good body and clothes...and face...and hair..........doesn't mean he can do everything he wants! Besides, aren't I the client here? Isn't the role supposed to be the other way around?!? The nerve!

You know what? I'm not going to go. Sorry, but ain't gonna happen. I'm happy right here, sitting on my warm and comfy bed. Nothing can make me move-

'_All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~ All the single ladies~'_

What does he want now?

"Yes?"

"_Sorry, but I forgot to tell you something."_

"And that is?"

"_If you don't come in half an hour, I'll have no choice but to get you myself and that is going to cost you. First of all, labor fee. Making me get out of this chair to drive will be a total of seven dollars. Secondly, the gas fee of 4.50 every five minutes. Not to mention the speed ticket I'll probably get because, since I'm so eager to see your face, I'll be driving fast. Really fast. Please choose wisely Ms. Tenten. You have....twenty minutes left. Good bye."_

That......money-obsessed girly looking alicanto! It's a twenty minute distance from my house to the office by _car_! How am I supposed to make it on foot? Damn him!

Grabbing a jacket that was lying on my floor, I quickly stuffed my feet into my Nikeys and ran.

I ran fast and I ran far.

Good news: I broke my own record. This will surely make my coach's day. On the other hand; it still wasn't enough. I was late by ten minutes.

_**Bang!**_

"Haa......Haa......I'm...I'm...he.......here....."

"Oh, hi Tenten! Wow, morning practice? You sure are working hard! Although...if you continue to lay down by our door, you are going to scare away our other customers."

"......Haa.....Whe...where is he...?"

"He who? Ouch! Stand still Sasuke!"

"Ali...I mean Neji,...whe...where...?"

"Neji? He left ten minutes ago. Saying something about earning more money, why?"

"WHAT! You mean he-What are you doing?"

If this isn't de ja vu, then I don't know what is. According to my memory, I met these two in a similar situation just yesterday. The only difference is instead of makeup, its dress up.

Shocking as it might sound, Sasuke was wearing a dress. But this wasn't just any dress, oh no~. It was an evening gown, the ones where those tall big breasted girls wear in Ms. Universe pageants.

The dress was a long strapless deep navy blue with white gemstones going from the right shoulder and spreading out at the end. Currently, Naruto was sewing on a big bow to the waist. All in all, it was very pretty.

"Hmmm? Oh, I'm OUCH! SASUKE-TEME! I SAID STOP MOVING, I CAN'T SEW ON THE BOW!"

"Then hurry up, I've been standing like this for an hour already, dobe."

"Stop calling me a dobe teme! And stop complaining, you try sewing this thing on! Do you not see the number of band-aids on my fingers?"

"Hn. That's just because you're a klutz."

"WHY YOU-"

I blocked out their argument. I already have a migraine and those two weren't helping. Tylenol, where is the Tylenol?

"You know, there is a logical explanation for this."

My eyes widened at that statement. Logical explanation?!? How is two guys playing dress up logical?

"Shikamaru? I think staring at the computer screen for so long has finally melted your brain. Exactly in what way is this '_logical_'?"

No Shikamaru, you're supposed to be normal one that helps me keep my sanity intact. You cannot go to their side. You just can't!

"Simple. This is all a preparation for the 'Ms. Pretty-Boy'Contest."

Hold up, what?

"Ms. Pretty, what?"

"(*sigh*) How troublesome. Naruto, you explain it. I'm taking a nap by the window."

"-OH SHUT UP TEME! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PINK MANICU......huh? Did you say something Shikamaru?"

"Ms. Pretty-Boy."

"Oh! Right, me and Sasuke are entering the 'Ms. Pretty-Boy' contest this year! Sasuke here is the model and I'm the coordinator."

Suddenly, I felt like some big, unknown mystery has finally been solved. The makeup and the dress, it all made sense now.

"Soo...the make up-"

"Preparations for the contest."

"And the dress up-"

"For the contest!"

Great, now I finally know the reason. But…

"Why? Why are you entering this contest in the first place?"

"It was a request. The client, apparently, made a bet with her narcissistic boyfriend or something like that. I don't know the exact details, ask Neji for that, but what I do know is that if we win, the prize money is ours."

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You're doing this incredibly embarrassing request all for some prize money you'll get if you win?"

"That is right Ms. Tenten, a thousand dollars to be exact."

Neji! When did he get here? Wait...

"...a thousand dollars?"

"Yes. If it was any lesser, I wouldn't have accepted this job. It's very humiliating. Anyways, I see you are finally here. Naruto, Sasuke, please clean up. Since we are all here let's get the meeting started. Shikamaru, wake up. I know you're not sleeping."

Of course, I should've known it had to do with money. I mean this is NEJI we're talking about, the money eating bird demon. Speaking of money...

"I don't owe you anything do I?"

"Twenty five dollars, seven for labor and eighteen for the gas fee. Don't worry, I didn't get a speeding ticket. You can pay me at the end of our contract."

Ugh...I knew it.

"That's not fair! Neji, that time limit was humanly impossible!"

"Well then, you should have become 'inhuman'. Besides, may I remind you that it was you, Ms. Tenten that came to us first? We, the Byakugan, are trying our very best to fulfill your request. I only wish for you to give your all as well."

Ack...Why is it that he always speaks the correct words? Still, must he say it so haughty like? Would it kill him to be _nice _and not money crazy for once?

While I was having my 'heart to heart' conversation with Neji, Naruto and Sasuke must have finished cleaning up cause Sasuke was not wearing a Ms. Universe navy dress anymore. Shikamaru, was actually doing something other than stare into a computer screen. In fact he was taking out all these papers and......is that _'the book'_?

"Well, if everyone is ready then let's start. I called you, Ms. Tenten, so we can quickly start on our meeting. There's a lot for us to go over till Monday, so let's get started shall we? Lady and gentlemen, welcome to the first meeting of the plan. A.K.A, Kill Kiba."


	4. Chapter 4

_****__**Disclaimer: No own Naruto**_

* * *

CHAPTER4

Contrary to popular belief, I, Tenten, am not just a hot and sexy brunette. No~. I'm a hot and sexy **PATIENT** brunette. Mmmhmmm, that's right, read the bold and capitalized text kiddies; P.A.T.I.E.N.T.

To further prove my statement just look at Ino and Sakura. Those two are living poof, literally. If I didn't have the patience of Buddha within me, those two bumble heads would be rotting in the morgue by now. After all, I tolerated their idiotic behavior and freaky fetishes with cute boys for seventeen years. If that's not an incredible act of patience then I don't know what is.

The only reason why the people around me find this hard to believe is that I tend to lash out from time to time……Ok, all the time. But still…Sakura and Ino are still alive aren't they? Whatever, the point is this. I have so much patience in my sexy little body that it's probably enough to fill the dark and deep hole that is Neji's greed. Need I make my self more clearer?

HOWEVER. Like everyone else, I am a human. A mere mortal such as my self, no matter how wonderful I may be, is bound to have a limit. For me, sitting on a squishy leather couch sipping on my **tenth** cup of green tea, doing absolutely _nothing_ but sipping for the past hour and a _half_ is so **Definitely!** **Going! Over! My! Limit! **

ARGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

I want to scream my head off and vent out my frustration to the world! I want to jump all over this couch and smash all the furniture in this room! Most of all, I want to _really_ throw this cup full of hot tea straight into that thing's face sitting across from me!!! Why don't I? Because~the _thing_ sitting across from me is Neji and if I do all the things my inner self is bugging me to do, there's a 99.99 chance I'll have to pay for all the damage.

Make that 150 percent.

Now you're probably thinking, "Why doesn't she just start a conversation or try to break the silence herself?" Well guess what, **I DID. **Fifteen times in fact and every single attempt ended up with me going back to sipping the freakin'.. I mean I tried, I really did. I fidgeted, went to the bathroom (you try holding down ten cups of tea!), I even asked Naruto about the weather! And yet, not once have any of them acknowledged me. What are they, five? Giving me the silent treatment suddenly…so _not_ cool.

I eventually stopped trying on my fifteenth attempt to make a conversation. The reason is because as soon as I opened my mouth, Neji suddenly shut 'The Book' he was reading (for an hour and a _half_ may I remind you), closed his eyes for five seconds then…opened 'The Book' and started to read again. To say I was scared would be an understatement.

I was _**Petrified.**_

I wisely kept my mouth shut after that.

But do you know what the worst part is? It's that everyone, even the lazy assed Shikamaru, is doing _something._ Naruto has been looking at fashion magazines for the past hour and a half, occasionally jotting down some notes onto a note pad. Next to him, Sasuke has been looking at the notes Naruto has written down and text messaging to who knows whom. While this was all happening on my right, Shikamaru has been typing on his computer nonstop. To top it off, Neji's eyes has been glued to 'The Book', not once sparing a glance at the others.

I just sipped.

But, something good did come out of this….a very tiny, bite sized,_ molecular sized_ good thing. I got to watch Neji in all his glory silently for an hour and a half. Before you point your finger at me and shout 'pervert!' let's think logically for a minute. Picture this; you are stuck in a room with only a cup of tea for comfort. The whole room is silent and the pressure is so great that you just don't have the nerve to start any forms of conversation. Now in this situation, put a gorgeous guy and place him right across from you. What would any sane girl of seventeen do in this kind of situation?

I've made my point.

Really, that guy is a walking crime. It should be against the law to be so evil and yet so tempting. Damn…what _is_ he anyway? Take his hair for instance. It's so silky and soft looking, it makes a girl wonder the type shampoo he uses. And did you notice his skin tone? It's fairer than any girl I've seen! Oh and those eyes, they are so……white! Is that even normal? Look at him sitting there, he makes looking beautiful a walk in the park! I swear, when creating him, God suddenly had a strong urge to experiment and so decided to give Neji two pearls for eyes, brown silk for hair and a marble sculpture for the body. And what did he give me? Fast legs and a nasty temper, gee thanks dude-that's-up-there, I owe you one. (Sigh……………)

"Huhuhuhu, is there something on my face Ms. Tenten? If you keep staring at me like that, I don't think I'll be able to fulfill the role of 'boyfriend' in fear of getting eaten. I'm not that crazy for money."

**?!?**

"YOU!!! YOU SPOKE!!!"

"…Yes…and you're a girl. Thank you for stating the obvious Ms. Tenten, it was most delightful."

"Wha? No! I mean, I _know_ that you spoke, but you just haven't for the past hour and …forty-five minutes! You guys were the one to call _me _during my Saturday and you have the guts to just ignore me all this time. Exactly what kind of sick and twisted game are you playing at?!?!?!?"

Finally a chance to vent! If I had known sooner that staring at him would make him respond, I would've burned holes in his face an hour sooner!

"Ah…Are you angry? I guess you have every right to but I assure you I had no intention of playing a 'sick and twisted' game with you."

"Really? Then what's with this sudden silent treatment?!? I want an explanation Neji and I want it NOW."

"Whaaa…She's really really pissed Neji, I told you this wasn't a good idea. And Tenten, stop frowning! A woman's pride is her skin and if you keep frowning like that think of all the wrinkles you'll get later in life."

"Hmmm…well an explanation. You see, after you went home yesterday, we of _The Byakugan _held a meeting without you. We have managed to make a general layout of the revenge plan but, since it was getting late we couldn't finish."

"Yup! That's why Shikamaru was typing all this time. He was making the finishing changes to the master plan. Me and Sasuke, we're in control of getting you ready for the revenge so we were planning as well. Neji was…"

"Hn. Joyfully counting up all the money that he's going to steal from…I mean, he was counting how much this would all cost. What, did you think I actually texted for fun? Do I look like I have a lot of friends?"

"Uh...is that a trick question?"

"Idiot."

I'm gaping like a fish aren't I?

"HAHAHA! Look Sasuke, she looks like a gaping fish!"

I knew it.

"Baka. This will only make our job a lot harder."

"Oh…Damn…"

I really wanted to butt into their conversation and berate them all to death, I really did. It's just that I lost my ability to speak in the midst of it all. With pleading eyes, I turned to the only person in this room who could understand the holy language of silent eye contact, Shikamaru.

"…How troublesome…both of you shut up. Apparently our client has, thanks to you idiots, lost her ability of speech, thus forcing me to work as the translator.(*sigh*) So troublesome........._WTF?!? Are you telling me you've all been just planning all this time? Then why was I needed in the first place? Give me back my golden time of happiness. GIVE IT BACK!!!_......is what she's trying to say."

Shikamaru…I always knew you were different from these demons. I…I think I'm going to cry…

"Well to be honest, you being here was really a test. I sincerely apologize that we've done this without your approval Ms. Tenten but, this really was necessary."

A test? What kind of test and why didn't you tell me beforehand?

"The test was on patience which by the way you passed flawlessly albeit the constant sipping and staring. You see Ms. Tenten, during our revenge; we will have to face several situations which will require you to keep your temper on check. Therefore, I had to test you. Besides, if I have told you on the phone, would you have come?"

You…you can understand the holy language of eye contact? Demon!

"Huhuhu…I assure you I'm human. Now to finalize the plan I would like for you to answer some questions. Are you ready?"

Shoot.

",,,,,,"

"Very well. First question; are you willing to do exactly everything we tell you to do no matter how wrong and unfair it may seem?"

Ummmm….

"Please keep in mind that if you do not cooperate with us it will only force me to destroy our contract leaving you to go back to school on Monday humiliated and without a boyfriend. So I'll ask again. Are you willing to do exactly everything we tell you to do no matter ho wrong and unfair it may seem?"

Yes.

"…"

"Excellent. Next, what is Kiba's definition of femininity? Sexy? Strong? Glamorous? Cute?"

Pft. That dog boy has balls for brains. What do you think?

"Hmmm…Provocative in a chic and classic way then. Ok, what is the purpose of your revenge? Are you just calling this a revenge plan when in reality all you want is to make him jealous so he'll come back to you at the end or do you really want to get back at him? Chose wisely Ms. Tenten, the best way we can be of service to you is if we know the exact wants of the client."

Do I want him back? I've never thought of this before. Come to think of it, asking others for help is something I would never do in regularly. So what made me do something so out of character? It was probably an act of impulse in my phase of anger. What kind of girlfriend wouldn't be if she found out her man was cheating? So what's my purpose now? Do I want him back?

"Well?"

Please. To hell with him.

"…………….. …………….."

"Understood. Lastly, I like you Tenten. Go out with me?"

……………………….!

"ZE ZHAT? I MEAN WHA…WHAT?!? GO OUT WITH WHO? YOOHOO! THAT'S WHO! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"She has gone completely nuts."

"Mmmhmmm. Completely loco. I'm getting scared Sasuke. What if she bites?"

"(*sigh*) How troublesome. Look, since I'm finished with my part of the plan I'm going to go to sleep. Women…"

He confessed! He confessed! The white eyed Adonis confessed to me! I don't know what to do! In fact I don't know who I am. Who am I? Why am I here? Where is here? Hahahahahaha!

"Well I couldn't think of another way to find back her voice. Obviously, you two can't understand the silent language of the eyes."

Ahahahahaha! Flowers! Hearts! Happine…What?

"Yea about that. Listening to you two…well one of you speak was plain freaky. See these goose bumps? How are you going to compensate for the poor state of my lovely skin Neji?"

What? What? What? Huh? Whahahahaha…

"I'll buy you eye shadow. Now before she wakes up. Naruto Sasuke mission time! Take her to the mall ASAP! You have a total of four hours to get her hair done and to take her shopping. The concept is sexiness with attitude. Do I make my self clear?"

"Roger that."

"Keep your promise Neji. Come on Tenten, let's go to the mall!"

In the chaotic world that was my mind, I vaguely remembered Neji silently mouthing something to me just as I was dragged out. I just don't remember what it was.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto.

* * *

****Chapter 5**

"I'm telling you teme, that is **so** not pink. That's bubblegum pink. Who uses bubblegum pink in this age anyways? Scratch that, who in their right mind would namea color after bubblegum? The stupid name alone is a good enough reason to stay **away **from that terrifying color."

"Oh please. Like you have something better? Knock knock dobe, anyone home? Guess not cause if you actually had some sense you wouldn't be touching that…that **ew**!"

"It is not EW! It's salmon pink! SALMON!"

"Oh and that's supposed to be better? How is salmon better than bubblegum? It's fish!"

"At least mine was named after a living entity, yours is just a piece of factorized crap!"

"Baka! Don't you dare insult the holiness of bubblegum! Who saved you from ultimate boredom when Neji ordered you to look at five hundred pages worth of bank reports! Bubblegum, that's who! Are you telling me you're shallow enough to insult your life saver?"

"That's...! That's not fair! Neji threw away my ipod cause he said that recharging it took electricity and taking electricity means a higher electricity bill! The only thing left in that room was bubblegum! That was a 'live or die' situation so it doesn't count! Then what about you! How dare you insult salmons! Salmon is the holy grail of all fish! Remember that day when Neji, for the first time in ever, actually gave us our paychecks on time? It was the promised pay too! Tell me Sasuke, what did we do with our first pay? What did we buy? Salmon! We bought salmon, fifteen whole packs of frozen salmon! We swore upon all fifteen packs the holy oath of manhood that day. Are you telling me you wasted your first and last paycheck on something ew? Are you denying your own **manhood**?"

"You...! DOBE!"

"TEME!"

"SHUT UP!"

"What? No! This is a matter of pride Tenten, and although I understand why, with you being a girl, cannot grasp the gravity of the situation, I can assure you that-"

"I. Don't. Care. Zip it. I have a migraine. I've had the migraine for the past 2 hours. It's not waning. In fact, it's steadily getting worse. It's painful. I'm in pain and therefore I am cranky; cranky and moody."

"But Tenten…"

"Did you not hear me? Let me put it into simpler terms so your puny mind can register it: MY HEAD FREAKIN' HURTS SO SHUT UP! I'm tired and sick of hearing you two babies whine. Yes. I understand that fashion is your thing and yes, I understand that as creative individuals, you each have a strong perception and viewpoint. That's why I stayed in the background and respected your clashes and conflicts, but this, this is the last straw. Will the both of you just please pick an outfit?"

"But-"

"I thought our concept was sexy, not punky/goth. Why are we loitering around the pink section? Move to the black section cause black is sexy and sexy is black. Now move!"

"You know, that is not true. Black doesn't always equal a sexy image. Other colors such as red or gold can contribute to that factor. Also, the material is ver-"

"I said MOVE!"

"Ahh! Run Sasuke! I think she has rabies!"

"Hn."

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out...ugh. What a nightmare. I should have known this would turn out to be a disaster. Everything was all fine and dandy at first. (Surprisingly) Naruto actually possessed a driving license. A real and very much legal license that proved Naruto can and know how to maneuver all the gadgets to drive a vehicle. I double checked. Anyways, everything was fine and dandy cause after all, no matter how rash and tom-boyish I may be, I'm still a girl and I like shopping. Of course, it's not near the level of my two friends, though seriously? I swear those two were born just for the purpose to shop. It's highly disturbing.

To make a long story short, I enjoyed the short car ride to the mall. My spirits were lifted and I was in the best of moods which is, by the way, rare. All was calm and peaceful in my world.

The chaos started when we entered the clothing store. The store in itself was very luxurious; I thought we entered the wrong store at first. It was huge, massive…enormous! More importantly, it was expensive! I almost fainted when I saw the price tag on a scarf, it was $700! $700 for one scarf and it was on sale! Naturally, I stated my opinion to my two companions.

"What the Fuck?"

"Nice. Really, Tenten, remind me to remind Neji that we should include manner classes into our schedule cause right now, you are horrid. Close your mouth and be quiet, you're embarrassing me."

"But Naruto! Look at that scarf, just look at it! Its 700 dollars! OK, so I admit the scarf is nice and pretty; all baby blue, 100% cashmere...so soft...Anyways! Just imagine how much one pair of jeans would cost! I can't afford any of these clothes. I'll go bankrupt!"

"Whoever said you were going to pay? We didn't even expect that in the first place. With your lousy budget, the only thing we'll be able to buy in this entire mall is our lunch."

"Don't worry Tenten, when there's a will, there's a way and fortunately for us, we have a way. Neji!"

"Neji?"

"Ta da! Introducing Neji's one and only, personal credit/membership card of wonder!"

It was beautiful. The thing was gold and shiny with the three most wonderful letters in the world engraved in it: V.I.P. Glowing with an unearthly light, it was practically begging me to use it. I nearly cried.

"Tenten..you're scaring me...again."

"H-?"

"We didn't steal it, if that's what you're implying. We actually value our lives. Neji gave it to Sasuke."

"Whe-?"

"On our way out. You were like freakin' out and hyperventilating so maybe you didn't notice?"

"Wh-?"

"Well I don't know, use your brain! Did you think we'll be able to afford anything at a place like this? In order to shop, we need money and obviously or in this case, sadly, the three of us do not have money. But who do we know that does? Neji. Neji has money. Neji has credit cards and Neji has cash and thus, he gave us this baby."

Oh. Right, that makes sense. Now that I'm over my initial shock, let's think logically. This is Neji. The Neji. Hyuuga Neji. The Neji who'd risk his life for a penny. And yet, here, right in front me, flaunting its delectable gold-ness is his card. So this is what they meant by a "want to cry and laugh at the same time" situation. My internal conflict must have shown on my face because Naruto is laughing and Sasuke is already walking down the hall.

"Awwww...don't worry Tenten! I swear to the Goddess of Fabulousness that Neji gave me this card out of his own free will. You will not be murdered, executed, tortured, maimed, shot, skewered, sliced, diced, burned, electrocuted and or assassinated in any way or form. I promise.

He said it with his "sunnier-than-the-sun" smile on his face.

Hyugga Neji, what have you _done _to the poor boy?

So anyways, to make a long story short, since then, the three of us have been roaming around this mall for ages. And every time those two go in a store, they argue about the most ridiculous topics and I am going insane. My legs are killing me, my ears hurt, I'm tired and now, I'm starving. Oh, and let us remember the fact that the freaky duo over there never asked me to try on any outfits! It was just walk into a store(arguing), walk through the racks and racks of cloths and pick this and that(still arguing), argue about the this and that, pay for the this and that(while arguing) and move on to another store.

Currently, our status quo is 6 stores and 10 bags. And look! They're arguing again!

"Sasuke! I mean really? Velvet? Really? Really, really, really? No. No way. We are going to get those gorgeous pair of snake skin pumps and that is final."

"Shut up and freeze. Go anywhere near that, and we are over."

"Seriously? Because I don't underst-"

"STOP! Stop. Just...just shush. Come on guys; let us all take deep breaths. Now, let us all ask ourselves: What, the Fu-"

"TENTEN!"

"Fudge. What the fudge. So explain. Please, explain to me why you two have to constantly bicker, why neither of you have not asked me about my opinion, but most importantly, WHY HAVEN'T I TRIED ON ANYTHING?"

I am proud of myself for exploding only at the last sentence.

"We bicker cause that's how we talk, of course we wouldn't ask your input on things cause that's why we are the ones doing the shopping and finally, we don't need you to try things on because I have "the eye" and thus, I know exactly how something looks on you. Besides, we already know your body measurements. Neji had Shikamaru hack into your school system to get your personal file. Whatever. Naruto? Fine, but no snake. We'll get those crocodile stilettos instead. Happy?"

"Happy! Now about that blouse..."

"Wait, he what? What are you the FBI? That's illegal you morons! And...and...unethical! What is wrong with you people?"

"Stop fretting over it. It was just a routine background check. Nothing unusual, and all a part of Neji's general procedures. I know what you mean. Purple is not her color. Choose the one in red wine, that'll do wonders."

"Hey! Do you not understand the seriousness of what you just admitted to? Shikamaru hacked into my school system!"

"Yea, and? I grudgingly admit that your call on the color was wise. We're done here. Let's hurry and pay and go to Coach. We need bags."

Totally freaked out but you know what? I'm just going to give up and follow their lead because this is the Byakugan we are talking about. Normal logic does not work on them. For the sake of my sanity and healthy stress levels, I, Tenten, will see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil.

Amen.

/

"Oh my god...finally...I think I'm going to cry."

"Don't be so overdramatic. We only went shopping."

"To you it might only have been shopping, but for me, that was pure hell. Please have mercy on this poor soul and order my food. Just order my food...please..."

"Uhm, Sasuke? I think we broke her. Don't worry Tenten, I'll have strips of meat grilling before you know it! Hang on and don't die."

After 4 hours of non-stop shopping and just when I was about to pass out, they finally dragged me to a Korean barbeque restaurant. If they don't start ordering for meat right now, I am going to turn into Tenten puddle and then I'll never have a chance at going after Neji. Please...please give me food. I want food! I need food and yes! There's my food. Oh babies, mommy needs you.

"Frankly, you drooling is making me sick. I'm going to the restroom and by the time I'm back, I expect you to behave and come back to being human. Naruto, make sure the meat doesn't get burnt."

"Go do your business Sasuke!"

'Come back to being human' he says. And whose fault is that? The nerve of him...whatever. Ah, listen to the sizzling of the meat, feel the heat of the fire and smell the deliciousness. Tenten is alive again!

"Wow thats sexy..."

Excuse me?

"I'm sorry but what did you say?"

"I said it's sexy!"

"...Ummm...are we talking about what I think we're talking about?"

"Uh...I don't know...depends on what you're talking about. So _are_ we talking about whatever you think that I'm talking about?"

"Well, I don't know, are we? I mean it kinda scares me to go there but is 'it' the 'it' I think you're talking about?"

"I think so? I mean, assuming that we're talking about the same 'it'. In that case I believe we ARE indeed talking about the same thing!"

"But...But 'it's'..'it'! You can't possibly be talking about 'it'! It's totally weird!"

"Huh? Does this mean we aren't talking about what I thought we were talking about a few seconds ago?"

"No! What I'm saying is that the thing we are talking about couldn't be the thing we are talking about cause it shouldn't happen!"

"Why not?"

"Why not? Cause it just doesn't! You don't add such an adjetive to such a noun!"

"So...we aren't talking about the same thing?"

"Yes! I mean No! We ARE talking about 'it' but I just find it hard to believe and thus I can't acknowledge that you said that!"

"Ahhhhh! What are you talking about? Just answer the question! Are we talking about what we both think we are talking about or not?"

"Probably but we shouldn't since the 'it' shouldn't be 'it'!"

"Tenten! Don't make me go over there! What the hell are you talking about? It was a simple yes or no question! Why are you making things so complicated? What's wrong with 'it'? And is this even important?"

"OF COURSE IT'S IMPORTANT! WOULDN'T YOU BE WORRIED IF YOUR FRIEND SAID SOMETHING TOTALLY RETARTED AND YET HE DOESN'T REALIZE IT IS?"

"HEY! I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT 'IT'! DONT GET PERSONAL WITH ME!"

"BUT YOU SAI-!"

"Hey, whats going on. FYI we are in a restaurant people; a place where there are more than us three. I can hear you two shouting all the way from the bathroom. Anyways, Tenten, there's something I must tell y-"

"Sauske! Can you believe what he said? If you heard it, you'd be like this too!"

"My god! What's so wrong with saying its sexy? It's a free country dammit!"

"Yea well even a free country has its limits! That's why we have things called laws you idiot!"

"That and that are way different! Laws are created to protect people from crimes, which by the way hurt others. Saying something is sexy doesn't harm anyone, in case YOU haven't noticed!"

"Well it all depends on that something doesn't it? And hearing you say 'it' is sexy definitly hurts my sanity!"

"What the hell?"

"Both of you shut up. I don't see the problem. What's wrong with saying sexy?"

"Ha! Sasuke agrees with me so blahh!"

"Nothing is wrong with saying sexy, but he said it to 'it'!"

"MY GOD! WHAT'S WITH YOU AND 'IT'? DO YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH 'IT'? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH 'IT'! DID IT HURT YOU? DID IT MUG YOU? DID IT CHEAT ON YOU?"

"Oh...now you've taken it too far. YOU! ME! OUTSIDE, NOW! Even if you beg me on your knees to stop later on I won't! I'm going to so enjoy smudging your eye shadow into your lip gloss and ripping that hideous shirt into a thousand shreds! Then I'll bop your empty and retarted head on a rock and throw your battered and bloody dead body into the Paci-"

"SHUT. UP. Now...just what is 'it'?

"THAT! That is 'it'!"

"..."

See how his face is starting to freeze up? Ha! Now see whose side he's on!

"Do you now see why I'm getting so worked up Sasuke? Take responsibility and fix him. He's your responsibility, not mine!"

"...She has a point Naruto. 'It' should never be called sexy. Just doesn't work."

"Hey! I thought you were on my side traitor!"

"Traitor or not, I'm siding with her on this matter."

"Fine! I'll just say it again and again and again and again then! It's sexy! It's sexy! It's sexy! It's freakin SEXY!"

"Dobe, that is just wrong, ok? Wrong."

"It's not wrong its right! Freedom of speech!"

"NARUTO! CALLING A STRIP OF PORK ON A GRILL SEXY IS NOT RIGHT! IT'S NOT RIGHT NOW, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE RIGHT LATER AND IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT EVER. NEVER EVER EVER!"

"But look at it! Look at it and tell me if it's not sexy. That soft pink color with daunting splashes of white, getting tanner and tanner... sizzling like that...The fat dripping off of it making it glisten in the sun...And that length...How is that NOT sexy!"

Well if he puts it like that…..No! No!No!No!No!No!No! Do NOT go there Tenten, do NOT! I have to get away before I turn into one of them!

"Naruto. That was gay."

"Well FYI, I AM!"

"That is so not the point!"

"Well if it wasn't why did you say it in the first place?"

"No really, this conversation has got to stop. I MEAN it. Besides, Tenten, there's something really really REALLY improtant I have to tell you. You know how I was in the bathroom, well as I was getting out, guess who was coming in? It was..."

"Not now Sasuke! I don't care about your adventure in the men's room! Naruto! Over the past few days I've got to know you a lot. In fact, I think it's safe to say we are friends and as friends I don't want to hurt your feelings but this is the last straw! You, Naruto Uzumaki, are a fashion drab. I HATE your sense of style and I HATE how you look. Wake up and smell the roses cause honey, Orange is soooo NOT your color."

"No really Tenten. It's urgent. The guy who was coming towards me was..."

"YOU! YOU...YOU...YOU...HOW DARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FASHION AND STYLE! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME, NARUTO UZUMAKI THE FASHOINISTA EXTRODINAIR, IF ORANGE IS MY COLOR OR NOT BECAUSE IT IS! I DON'T NEED TO HEED ADVICE FROM A DRAB LIKE YOU! WHO TIES UP THEIR HAIR INTO TWO SIDE BUNS THESE DAYS ANYWAYS? SO SHUT UP YOU IMPOLITE, HORRIBLE, MEAN, MEAN...PERSON!"

And snap!

There goes my last thread of reason.

"Stop shouting! The last thing we need is more attention to ourselves cause let me tell you, we got plenty! The same goes for you Tenten! Stop fighting like two year olds and get your acts together because we have to hurry and ge...oh shit! Now look what you've done he's coming this way! All right, all right, it's not too late. If we could somehow manage to quietly pay and go out through the bac-"

"THAT'S IT! STAND UP! LET'S SETTLE THIS RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT DRAMA QUEEN!"

"I said SHUT UP! Oh crap! He's seen us! He's seen us you idiots! Are you two even listeni-"

"DRAMA QUEEN? AT LEAST I HAVE CLASS! ALWAYS TRYING TO SOLVE THINGS BY FIGHTING... SO VULGAR!"

"Hey! Whatever, I had it! If Neji says anything, it's you two who ignored me! I tried my freaking best! I'm out! Oh and by the way, both of you have exactly 15 seconds till he c-"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

I should be really amused by the fact that me and Naruto(or was it Naruto and I just told the venom-spitting, death glare extraordinaire Sasuke to shut the FUCK up, but considering the situation, I'm not. I thought Sasuke was the quiet "emo" teen in the team. Why is he so talkative? He's like a different person since he came out of the restroom.

Someone, give me a break. I endured their stupid fights, walked who knows how long, didn't punch, slap, harass nor explode on those two and all I want is to eat my food in peace. But no, of course things aren't simple when I'm with them. The meat is starting to burn, I'm making a scene out of myself in a restaurant, I have a blond drama queen glaring at me, the dark moody one just up and leaves, Kiba is smirking that damn smirk of his at me and n-.

Wait.

What?

Oh.

Oh shit.

Oh fudge.

Crap.

* * *

So...Hi? I am sorry. Really, really, really, REALLY sorry and I apologize for suddenly disappearing. Please forgive me. But! I brought a new chapter, an extra long one(at least for me) as an offering! I can't promise to update fast, but I promise not to leave a story hanging for months at a time. So...forgive me? haha.

I just want to say thank you to those who gave me encouraging reviews. It really motivated me to continue this story!(You know who you are!) Kisses and hugs to you all!

Read and review~


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